"The Business of Being Born"

Well, I never in a MILLION years thought I would ever say this, but... I'm going to try for a natural birth.

I've always felt I've been a little bit jipped (is that how you spell it?) with my birthing experience. I was "over due" and was induced. The medicine started my labor but didn't keep it going for very long. So I stayed overnight and the next morning on Pitocine. I was upped to the max and my labor never progressed. During that time I was given an epidural and my labor basically stopped. They broke my water to see if it would help and they "waited as long as they could" and gave me a section. An hour later, after a panic attack and lots of tears, baby Joel was born.

I never want to do that again. It was scary and painful and I felt told what I could and could not do. So, I've been talking to Jared about having a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and I was amazed at the statistics. According to VBAC.com there is a 67% success rate if you have one Vaginal birth. Baby number two jumps up to 90% success rate. Having a ruptured uterus is like 10%. I thought it was WAY higher. I know it's still dangerous. But, so is having a baby! There is always a risk.

So, my mom came home from Utah and my sister had told her to tell me to watch "The Business of Being Born" (it's a Play it Now free on Netflix if you have it). I'm telling you. I cried and cried and cried because it was exactly what i went through. I had a plan and the doctors had a plan and because they did not co-inside and the doctor had the "expert" opinion, I wasn't able to have the experience i wanted. I was shocked at the statistics that they told about home births. And the death rates of pregnant women in the United states! It was so scary!

Anyway. The point is that I'm planning a natural labor. I'm scared. I'm scared that i won't be able that will take me because i want to have a vbac. I'm afraid that the doctor's will bully me into having another C-section. I'm afraid that there will be complications. I'm not brave enough to do a home birth but maybe if this natural experience goes well, i'll try for one.

"The Business of Being Born" really changed my view on the strength of being a women and and the strength of my body. I really hope i don't chicken out. I'm going to talk to a midwife and hopefully they'll be on my side.

If you have ANY information for me or anything that can help me in my decision, please let me know!