"The Business of Being Born"

Well, I never in a MILLION years thought I would ever say this, but... I'm going to try for a natural birth.

I've always felt I've been a little bit jipped (is that how you spell it?) with my birthing experience. I was "over due" and was induced. The medicine started my labor but didn't keep it going for very long. So I stayed overnight and the next morning on Pitocine. I was upped to the max and my labor never progressed. During that time I was given an epidural and my labor basically stopped. They broke my water to see if it would help and they "waited as long as they could" and gave me a section. An hour later, after a panic attack and lots of tears, baby Joel was born.

I never want to do that again. It was scary and painful and I felt told what I could and could not do. So, I've been talking to Jared about having a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and I was amazed at the statistics. According to VBAC.com there is a 67% success rate if you have one Vaginal birth. Baby number two jumps up to 90% success rate. Having a ruptured uterus is like 10%. I thought it was WAY higher. I know it's still dangerous. But, so is having a baby! There is always a risk.

So, my mom came home from Utah and my sister had told her to tell me to watch "The Business of Being Born" (it's a Play it Now free on Netflix if you have it). I'm telling you. I cried and cried and cried because it was exactly what i went through. I had a plan and the doctors had a plan and because they did not co-inside and the doctor had the "expert" opinion, I wasn't able to have the experience i wanted. I was shocked at the statistics that they told about home births. And the death rates of pregnant women in the United states! It was so scary!

Anyway. The point is that I'm planning a natural labor. I'm scared. I'm scared that i won't be able that will take me because i want to have a vbac. I'm afraid that the doctor's will bully me into having another C-section. I'm afraid that there will be complications. I'm not brave enough to do a home birth but maybe if this natural experience goes well, i'll try for one.

"The Business of Being Born" really changed my view on the strength of being a women and and the strength of my body. I really hope i don't chicken out. I'm going to talk to a midwife and hopefully they'll be on my side.

If you have ANY information for me or anything that can help me in my decision, please let me know!

i know that this is blog number two today, and the first was probably more exciting. but i really really really really really really really need a haircut i love. and so, i think i've decided to go bob cut. here are some ideas i've had.

the hayden bob.


Reese bob.

Sandra's Long Bob.
or Nikki's?

Since half the world knows....

I guess I'll let you hear it from me.... Yes i am pregnant. Yes we planned it. Yes we're excited.

I'm pretty up set (well... really angry) about how this news got out but, i guess you can't always have it your way. All i can say is.... very bitter things. We're due in October. I've felt pretty good for the past couple weeks and I hope that is a good sign for the weeks to come. The past few mornings have been a bit queasy, but NO THROWING UP!! YAYA!!! And another chapter has started in our family. I really hope it's a girl!!!

Other News:

Joel is
28lbs
32 inches

He loves to scream, play peek-a-boo and can now walk. we're having so much fun with him! we'll see how adding another baby into the mix works out.

we're doing well. Jared just hit a big batch of papers and tests these past few weeks so, we've been pretty busy. I've been working a lot of saturdays and we're so happy as a family. :)

Birthday and a Hair Cut.

I guess I'll start by saying this:
I don't like it when my son looks like he has a HUGE comb over.

I know (especially my mom) didn't like the idea of me cutting his hair. But I did and Jared supported me so i cut it. and let me tell you! he looks a lot cuter. There are still some "trimmings" i need to do, and i found a couple long spots but what do you expect cutting a 1 yr old's hair? He really did a good job sitting still. all I did was give him one of his favorite toys.... my makeup.




I mean, there isn't a huge difference. and really, that is what i was going for. i think he looks more handsome. what do you think? did i cut it too soon?





Then the next day was his birthday. WHAT A CRAZY DAY! Seriously! Joel woke up WAY cranky and basically terrorized my house all morning. You should see my bedroom. Then, after his nap we went to target. and for me, target is a vortex of never ending shopping. we were there for like... 2 hours. but he was really happy. he loves sitting in the cart and being lugged around. then we ran home, i forgot i had to work so i ran to run corby, jared made a quick dinner, we opened presents with a cranky baby, and said goodnight. we even forgot to sing "happy birthday". Yeah, i guess that makes me a bad parent. Oh well. Like he cares. He's one. Maybe we'll sing it tonight.

So anyway, unlike Christmas, he was really happy to open presents. he got this animal and shapes and key thing from becca:

The funniest part was when he realized there was a toy in there and pulling the paper was no longer fun.

Then, he got some baby crayons from us and he has already made me two pretty pictures:





Then, his new favorite toy... the animal train. His face was priceless when he saw it. it was like the first "wow" moment that he's ever had.





and then this morning he "ran" to the living room and begged for it.




I can't believe hes gone from this


To this
in just one year. We love you Jolie-o-lie-o!